Today I cleared an emotional hurdle that I've been getting caught up on for years, and it feels AMAZING. I have to share it with the hopes that it will help others find peace in a very particular and all too common moment of human uncertainty.
I found myself in a familiar place; a place we all go to from time to time, but sometimes I feel like I have been living there forever. It's the point in a budding relationship with someone new when you find yourself wanting to see the other person more, wanting to know when the next time you'll see them will be, and feeling insecure that they don't want to see you as much as you want to see them. You find yourself armed with a cell phone ready to extend an invitation that it's really not your turn to make or asking if they're going to take you up on that loose offer to get together later this week etc...
Stop. Right. There.
At least, that's what I did, and at the risk of sounding overly dramatic I don't think I'll ever be the same. You see, I realized today that this moment of uncertainty, this small span of time when I'm not sure when, or even if I'll see him again is a truly precious moment that he and I will never share again regardless of where things go from here. Maybe I'll see him tonight, maybe I'll never see him again, maybe I'll see him all the time for years to come - who knows?! No matter where things go from here, one thing is for sure: this moment of not knowing when we will see each other will never happen again once it has past. Think about it, once this phase of a relationship ends you're either together, or your not. There's no going back to this time when anything can happen between the two of you. Once you know, you know. There's no way to bring the romantic mystery back in to the equation after this.
Because this moment is so unique and fleeting, rather than doing our best to shove it out of the way so we can see what's around the corner, why not embrace where we are right now? Why not enjoy it? Oftentimes nervousness and anxiety stem from good old-fashioned excitement, and if we choose to appreciate the uncertainty of this moment and rest assured that we'll know all too soon where things are headed, we can just be excited to be in this unknowing, no safety net, once-in-a-relationship moment!
This simple mindset twerk can take us all away from staring at our phones and cursing everyone that pings us for not being the person we want to hear from, to leaving our phones and our anxieties behind and going out in to the world with a lightness in our chest and a smile on our face because we like someone, and that's one of the greatest feelings ever!
Really, finding someone who captures your interest and gets you excited to see them is a HUGE deal that doesn't happen very often. So let's just celebrate having gotten this far, and let then 'when' and the 'how' go for now and relish this exciting time of endless possibility, shall we?
Trust me, it's a life-changing liberation for your mind, and your heart.